The number one reason people fail when it comes to starting #Spiritual Conversations with friends, family, or strangers is that they sabotage themselves 3 seconds just before they're about to step out and try.

What's happening here is we are potentially stepping out too far too fast and we stumble.

When we stumble, we're naturally prone to feeling less motivated to try again and thus the process becomes harder, and the next time we try will seem like a farther jump.

If you follow this easy to do 3 day plan, I can guarantee you that you will improve at least by 5x in your ability to start conversations!

In this blog we're going to go over:

• Why We Fail
• Progressive Overload
• The Three Day Easy-Action Plan

Why We Fail

Imagine a guy in the gym and he's wanting to get in shape. Let's say he;s never been in the gym before.

He steps up to the bar to do some squats and he loads on 300lbs!

He's thinking, if he's going to start, he might as well "start strong" right?

Balancing underneath the bar, he pushes up with his legs and the bar lifts off the rack. One inch step back; his face is turning red.

Another inch step backwards; he lets out a grunt.

One more inch step back and he squares up ready to do the squat. The veins are popping off his head, he's breaking into a sweat, and down he descends slowly.

Everything looks good until his knees bend a bit too far forward, his lower back gives out, and he falls into the rack with the weight on his neck.

The problem: he tried to do too much too fast.

Ever feel like that when trying to start a conversation?

It's as if the pressure is too much, you get all red in the face, and your knees get all wobbly making you feel like you're stumbling in the conversation.

• Maybe they rejected you right off the bat
• Maybe they asked you a question you didn't know how to answer
• Maybe it was all in your head and you perceived it much worse than it actually was

If the conversation did end up with a "crash," the chances of you trying again really dwindled didn't they?

There is an easy remedy to this for the gym AS WELL as for starting spiritual conversations and the remedy is called "Progressive Overload."

But before I get there, I want to touch quickly on what's happening in that moment 3 seconds before you step out and something stops you.

It's your fear of rejection.

Before you actually get into the conversation your subconscious mind has already played a 4 hour movie in your brain of how terrible things are going to go if you venture out and try.

The reason this happens is because likely at some point in your life, prior to this moment, you were rejected by someone for something and it hurt.

Since that moment on it has been your "belief system's" job to protect you from ever feeling that pain again, and thus when you get to a situation that appears like there could be potential rejection your subconscious kicks in with every resource it knows how to use to stop you.

These "resources" can manifest as anxious feelings, negative chatter in your brain like "you're going to fail" or "they don't want you to talk about this", and even a motion picture in your mind that includes all the above.

This protection mechanism is not a bad thing nor does it make you  bad person for having it - or giving in to it.

It does however prevent you from having amazing conversations with people that really do want to talk about these things with you.

Progressive Overload

This is actually a physical training principle. The idea is that you start at a base level that you can safely operate at, and then each time you come back, you incrementally add on to what you did previously.

For example lets say on Monday you did

• 3 sets
• 4 reps
• 50 lbs

The next Monday you would then do

• 3 sets
• 5 reps
• 50lbs

The Monday after that you would then do

• 3 sets
• 6 reps
• 50lbs

The Monday after that you would then do

• 3 sets
• 4 reps
• 60lbs

and so on... you're always going up in progress, but slowly moving back between 4 and 6 reps, and then slowly increasing the weight along the same lines.

Doing this over the span of a year allows you to go from 50lbs to 100lbs or more.

The idea is that if you "progressively overload" you will be able to do more over time without hurting yourself - instead of just jumping into things and doing an amount you can't physically do yet.

The same can be said with starting spiritual conversations.

For some of us, reaching out right off the bat and trying to have spiritual conversations with people we've never done so with might feel really out of our reach.

The best remedy for this is also progressive overload. Which brings us to our 3 Day Easy Action Plan.

3 Day Easy Action Plan

I guarantee if you do this thing incrementally, you'll find yourself having amazing conversations every day with little to no problem starting them.

One thing you must understand is that the principle of progressive overload still includes work.

Each time someone adds 5lbs onto the bar at the gym, it's only 5lbs but it's still challenging.

That 5lbs is designed to bring them to a level of exertion they've never done before which is what allows for the growth of strength and muscle.

What I mean by that is we're going to start off slow here, but we're also going to have to step out of our comfort zone a little bit.

The good news in all this though is that we only have to step out just a little - not a huge leap like before.

The other good news in all this is that you have tons of great resources in the other blogs here that show you how to step out of the comfort zone better.

Plus...God is with you; what more could you ask for?

So here it is: The 3 Day Easy Action Plan

Day 1- The 10 Foot Rule

For the entire day whenever someone/anyone gets within 10 feet of you, it is your obligation to say "Hello, how are you?" That's it.

Your goal here is not to actually have a conversation - though thumbs up if it happens.

Rather your goal here is simply to get used to saying something first.

You don't have to become friends, you don't have to get into a spiritual conversation just yet, you don't even have to continue talking.You just have to get used to initiating - because they're not going to do it.

Guaranteed after doing this 3 times in a row, it's going to become super easy and you'll be surprised how many people respond well.

Day 2 - Bless and Go

This is where we begin to step a little bit further out of the comfort zone, but the good news it's only for a second.

Your objective of the day is whenever you are at a cash register of some sort or in front of someone you only have 10 seconds with, is to tell them 2 things and then leave:

1. They seem like a great person

2. #Jesus loves them and that's good news

You say those two things, let it register in their ears, and then wish them a good day as you leave.

It can look like this:

"Hey, two things: I don't know if you've ever heard this or even if you've heard it enough.... but I get the vibe from you that you're a great person. I feel that people like you and that you're gonna do good things. And second, Jesus loves you...and that's good news. Have a great day!"

To break this down a little for you:

First - before you do this, your brain is going to go into "protection mode" and paint a picture of them responding to you negatively.

- you don't really know that for sure, so just do the 5 Second Rule and carry on.

Second - you start by sincerely complimenting or encouraging them, something that you believe is true.

I don't say "you are a good person" because they might not believe that to be true.

But "you're great" is pretty ambiguous, and I put it in context a little by speaking positively over them with "I feel that people like you."

I believe that everyone has something likable about them, and I also believe that everyone wants to be liked by someone.

I start with this rather than "Jesus loves you", because at least with this way it puts their mindset into the frame of receiving good news.

Who wouldn't enjoy being complimented?

Third - you tell them Jesus loves them, wait a second to let it register in their brains what you just said, and then you can wish them a good day and leave.

You want to let it register with them because then its a sincere comment and not a drive-by evangelism. That's no better than a "tract."

You want them to know that the comment is coming from you - because then it means something.

You're not just throwing it at them and running away in fear.

This exercise is more for you than it is for them because you are now proving to yourself that "You are not ashamed of the gospel...for it is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe."

I know you believe this already and with these little actions, you are only going to solidify that believe.

At the end of the day, we only behave how we believe don't you think? You are empowering your belief systems by doing this.

Day 3 - F.O.R.M It

This one is the fun one where your goal now is to actually get into conversations with people.

Your goal here is one actual conversation with someone that you don't normally talk too.

You open it up with the 10 Foot Rule and then you feel it out to see if the other person is open to conversation or not. An easy way to find out is when you ask "how are you?", is if they return the question: "I'm doing good! And you?"

Most people are polite enough to ask back. Some not.

But others are pleased to have been asked in the first place and are usually up for small talk - depending on the situation.

If both of you are standing around with a little time to kill (like in a line or at a bus stop) then conversation has margin.

If one or both of you are walking to go somewhere then chances are there's not much margin to stop and talk. Nor is there much margin if the other person is at their job working.

The key is to not try and battle anything for their attention. They should be open and able.

Next you're going to segue into the FORM model:

F  -  Family

O -  Occupation

R  -  Recreation

M -  Mission

Family:

- Where's your family from?

- How many siblings do you have?

- What are your parents like?

- etc.

Occupation:

- What do you do with your time?

- What do you do for work?

- What were you doing before that? (if you asked the previous question)

- etc.

Recreation:

- What do you like to do for fun?

- What's your favorite place to visit?

- Where have you been on vacation?

- etc.

Mission:

- If you could change the world, where would you start and with what?

- What do you feel is important about life?

- What are the top 2 lessons that have really impacted you?

- etc.

If you noticed all the questions are open ended questions - meaning, they don't give opportunity for "yes" or "no" answers.

They encourage the person to open up and talk a bit.

These are much more engaging and interesting questions, and it allows you to find points of common interest where you can jump in and say "Hey me too!"

This is a basic layout of how a good conversation can go. Simply talk until you discover a new friend or until you feel it's time to end.

Your goal here is to simply get used to talking with people.

[BONUS]

Day 4. F.O.R.M.S

This is the exact same as previously, only now you begin testing the waters for spiritual conversations.

Your goal here is not to preach or share anything really, but rather just to get used to asking questions that lead to spiritual topics.

For example:

• Where do you go to church? (simply assume they go...and if they don't, respond with "that's so interesting! Tell me about that")
• What would you say your worldview is (to which they'll ask "what do you mean?") Reply: you know like what's your view on the world: God, no God, aliens, other, etc., (whatever their answer is, reply with: interesting tell me more)
  

Don't put yourself down if you find any of this overwhelming. Some countries have cultures where talking to strangers is the norm - and others we raise our children not to talk with strangers.

Either way if your desire is to improve on your ability to start the conversation, the above 3 day easy action plan is definitely going to help you.

It's about stepping out bit by bit and improving over time. Eventually you'll find yourself having amazing conversations all the time with people you may or may not know!

So What Are Your Thoughts?

Share below what your experience was on the three day easy action plan. What went well? What did you find to be a struggle?

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